What made anyone think I was pissed off? I was smiling as I wrote that last thing. Yet another failing of the written word. Oh, the limitations, I lament.
If I still have hard rocking friends who dislike hip-hop, I suggest Mos Def's New Danger, which as it says at the bottom I am listening to right now. Ol' Mos got mad about bands like Limp Biscuit forging ahead with that rap-rock genre so he assembled a crackerjack band comprised of members from Bad Brains, Living Colour and Parliament Funkedelic -- calling themselves Black Jack Johnson (the Black added so's not to confuse 20-year-old college girls in search of more songs by surf boys).
All that and no album surfaced. Fans scratched their heads. No Mos Def record for five years but we were seeing him all over the place. Movies, TV with Dave Chappell and Def Poetry Jam.
Now he has New Danger and Black Jack Johnson is backing him. The result rocks.
So now we move on.
The plan is that I'll leave Sunday, staying in Atlanta to see Herm and Clint Bob. Then hangover free, I'll hit the road for Dearborn and officially be gone forever. That's right. I'm out forever. All this talk about coming back to visit for the holidays and reassessing after the new year... lies. Big, fat, bloody lies!
You've been fooled and nothing can stop me now. Kiss my big black ass because that's all you'll see when I leave in a cloud of smoke, becoming a small dot on the horizon you could never chase.
But what you're really worried about is the picture and the rampant name change lately.
Hey, identity crisis.
It's called Satire, my friends.
Oh and I have an epiphany to share.
Going through hundreds upon thousands of profiles here, I've come to the conclusion that what I really want is a girl who'll show me everything without ever having to say a word to her. Then, after I've said "Hello", to get to touch everything. Life is too short to be respectable and I've finally learned that lesson. Thank God this revelation didn't come on my death bed.
Oh, but that reminds me. I'm dying.
Yep, right this very minute I'm about to kick it. It being the bucket. Soon, I'll follow the light and find out whether or not I've been naughty or nice. Either it'll be really hot where I'm going or Santa Claus will greet me at the Peppermint Gates with an armload of presents and a brand new mansion.
I'm pulling for the latter.
And just now thanks to the miracle of instant messaging, an old friend just informed me she makes the best mashed potatos in the world. Someone else recently told me the same thing but she wasn't talking about my friend. Now I'm wondering how it could be that two people I know both make the best mashed potatoes in the world and yet I have no empirical knowledge upon which I could base the deciding vote.
That's a terrible thought to have just moments before death makes its call.
Which reminds me, I spoke with Action Girl herself today. It wasn't the first time, but it was way better than the first time... which sounds familiar.
So we talked while I paced the aisles of Wal-Mart. I checked the timer on my cell phone and discovered it was a 34 minute conversation. Sit-coms are shorter than that so I feel special. I entertained Action Girl that long. And likewise, I'm sure.
She was able to tell me that Macon is the 122nd television market in the US. Not bad, Flag City, I said, but she refuted my joy. Action Girl is from Canada.
Not only am I dying but this means I'll definitely miss her beach party this weekend. Shit.
Speaking of, I rented two movies today. It was a harrowing experience.
Not three minutes after I entered, a woman comes in to defend the honor of her son who tried returning a broken $5 pen and had been called a liar by the clerk. At first it was civil, but the clerk -- a middle aged woman in her own right -- was a real pissant, so it got ugly quick. The Mom started shouting "Bullshit" and "What is your name", but when the clerk wouldn't pony up with the goods, the Mom reached out for her name tag, which resulted in a slapped hand and more ugliness. In the end, no one was hurt but I had been entertained.
Hey, does anyone want to bone before I leave town? I mean, it'll probably be a while for me so if you're interested in helping me out, then just send me a message. It'll be totally discreet.
Oops, I died.
No comments:
Post a Comment