I woke up naked, but wrapped in a blanket, awkwardly positioned on the couch and racked with guilt from the moment my eyes opened. I was still drunk and would remain that way until nearly 3pm. If I could bottle that feeling and slap a picture of that moment on the label, I wouldn't have to try to answer "How was your birthday?"
My favorite woman on the planet made it apparent pretty quickly that she was thinking of quitting my fan club. As she described the last hour or two of my night, I realized two things: 1) I don't remember the last hour or two of my night, and 2) I may have alienated everyone I like, or at least those were still there when I blacked out.
Here's what I don't remember but have been told. At some point late, I left my own party. I was called on the phone, which I answered, to return and said I was only to show up at 550 Blues instead. When Doc Brown found me, apparently I yelled at her and then ran down Riverside Drive in an attempt to avoid getting in the car.
Does anyone really miss The Power of Chris Compels You? I don't. All day Sunday, I didn't miss him. I'd sobered up just before Moms showed up with my grandparents for dinner. I nearly fell down three times, but otherwise managed to keep my hangover out of the way.
More than that, I just feel like an asshole. A lot of great musicians and friends came out, and though I know I had a good time with everyone for a while, I feel like I took a giant metaphorical piss on some of them. I never meant to and right now, I'm not sure how to fix that.
Then again, I always felt guilty after a binge like that, which used to be a weekly event. The problem, I think, is that I'd forgotten that people buy you drinks on your birthday. One extremely kind and generous gentlemen bought me five drinks in a row. I'd actually brought my own flask bottle of SoCo because I didn't have the cash to drink all night on my dime. I wasn't expecting anyone to buy me things. But they did and so I got hammered, hard.
Highlights that I recall:
A1) Heather Kemp (aka Oh Dorian) sang a song she wrote for me. It was sweet and referenced some tough times that we wiggled through together, which is why I say Heather sang it. She's good people and I miss her.
B2) Trendlenberg (aka Justin Cutway) sang a very Trendlenberg version of Bon Jovi's "Blaze of Glory" at my request. It may have been the very best that Bon Jovi ever sounded... and that's saying a lot since "Slippery When Wet" was the first tape I owned (given simultaneously with Whitesnake by my uncle Danny).
Everything else--the blackout excluded--was one big highlight. All I'd wanted was to be surrounded by my favorite people, and as the date got closer, I got worried. I know I'd burned some bridges with a couple of years' worth of bad behavior and wondered if anyone still liked me enough to drink with me. And I knew that some of the folks who did would be out of town for the Labor Day weekend. To my utter surprise, the place filled up pretty good with friendly faces and new friends.
The cherry on top was the music. I wish I could've put 300 people in that room just so 300 people would have to witness a little sampling of what we've got going on here in Macon. There was such a selection and such variety. And it was all so damn good. I just shake my head when I think about how much we've all grown up in the last five years. It's amazing that it's coming together like this, that we're coming together like this.
One of the dudes dressed like he stepped out of Breakin' (I can't remember his name now) came to the Center for Revolutionary Studies way back when Roger, Clark, Camo, myself, and perhaps a couple others were really trying to put together a big concert down at Luther Williams Field where all the talent was supplied by local bands. We had just enough music to do it for a few hours and were desperately trying to figure out how to put something like that together.
It never happened, but the fact that we're all still kicking around like this means something to me. Roger--with Tagg and Dirty--finally has built a nightlife scene that responds. What Clark is doing with Nomenclature and recording is nothing short of awesome. While I don't remember what dude's name is, he and his buddy are about to debut themselves as The City Council.
Now I'm rambling. Sorry.
The point is thank you. Thank you for the birthday wishes. Thank you for coming to the party. Thank you for playing at the party. Thank you for being in this city. Thank you for being yourself in this city and making it safer for other weirdos to do what they love in this city. Thanks for helping me grow up a little so there's still a chance I can really contribute to what's going on here.
I hope this is the last public apology I ever have to me.
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